Today I find myself immersed in the French film "The Lover." Why I've chosen to use this film as the backdrop for inspiration today has made itself quite known as my "novel in progress," well, progresses. I was first introduced to this film when I was all of either 16 or 17. The year was 1993, back when what was to become my alma mater still showed foreign films for next to nothing.
I was quite impressionable back then, as most who are coming of age, and was just beginning to discover my love of art house culture. Fast forwarding to my now 33 year old self, this is still one of my favorite films. Some of the reasons are the same, such as the fact that it is a writer's autobiographical account of her former self and one of its themes is love overcoming societal boundaries. However, I've discovered that I share a commonality with the main female character; the discovery that you did indeed love someone that at the time you didn't fully realize you had.
The story of the two main characters in this film is somewhat tragic, but altogether real. Two lovers who connect at a common point along their journeys in life, but who are aware that they cannot have a future together. Despite having to go their separate ways due to societal obligations, rules and boundaries, their love for each other never dies. The male character is always aware of his love, but the female character doesn't fully allow herself to recognize it until after their relationship has ended. Perhaps it is because of the age difference. When we are coming of age we often don't fully understand what we are feeling and why. It's only when the older, more experienced version of ourselves reflects on what was, that we fully awaken to what happened.
It's funny how time and experience help us connect the dots more logically versus the younger version's impulse to rely on intuition alone. We can only hope to smile in reflection on what was and move past the pain of what could've been. Perhaps the satisfaction of knowing that anything is possible when two people love each other and that love continues despite life's demands, obligations and rules is enough.
Copyright 2009 by H.E.A.
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