A Friendship's Revelation

For the past few days I've been thinking about friendship. What it means, how it starts, how it ends, how it can sometimes pick back up from where it left off and how sometimes it can come out of nowhere, from an unlikely source. Of course, I've been thinking about this in the background as I've been trying to focus on completing my mid-term paper regarding the advertising strategies of two digital music subsidiaries. Yeah, I know...real exciting, huh? I really think they shouldn't call it an MBA at all. Masters of BS would be more like it.

Well, let's move on to something more meaningful, shall we? Oh, yes....friendship. Like most sensitives, especially introverted ones, I keep my circle small. Sure, I'll talk to almost anyone, once you get me going. I'll listen, offer my two cents at times, try to get you to reveal to yourself what you already know and maybe, just maybe I might even sit down for a drink or two to get to know you better. But, to be someone I consider a "friend," you gotta prove yourself. Trust isn't easy and what you do versus what you say is the true test of whether or not you move past the "acquaintance" stage. Now, we're all aware that trust is a two-way street, so yes, I do my best to try to hold up my end of the bargain.

True bonds that won't be broken by the effects of time, other people, distance, change and everything else that life throws at us, are quite rare. Once in awhile you rediscover those-by fate, synchronicity or what seems to be chance. Someone who knows you well, has seen all the deleted scenes that didn't make it to the final cut and all the edits and re-writes that no one else gets to read in your final manuscript. They may have even helped you write a few of those "backstage moments" that in some ways become more precious than what the audience gets to witness.

More than ten years can pass before they reappear on your canvas. Maybe because the Universe knows you need each other again or perhaps its mysterious ways are returning something that you now know the true value of. No harsh words, never a judgment, only understanding and support. You can't even recall a fight between the two of you or why you suddenly drifted apart in the first place. What they do say reminds you of who you were, of who you still are and what you already feel within that's yet to be spoken. So when they call and you can't be there because of some meaningless grad school project, you feel guilty. It's a reminder that you still have a lot of changing to do. You offer the support and "virtual" presence that you can and are grateful that you're the one they trust and open up to. You're also grateful that they don't feed your guilt trip; they tell you it is ok and that you'll get together when the time is right.

We have so many choices in life, so many decisions to make and so many places where we can choose to put ourselves and extend our energy towards. Those accolades and pieces of paper that are gone once we light a match underneath shouldn't be one of them. We do it because we want to be somebody, to be externally appreciated, to be noticed, and to gain what we already have.

Something we already have, but never took the time to really see-someone who cares enough to stick around, no matter what. Someone who sees behind our eyes, into that place that only we think we know.