Saturday, April 10, 2010

Embracing What's Truly Important

As this week comes to a close, I realize that I've reached a crossroads in my current "assignment." I can choose to fight and stand up for what I believe is right, I can walk away, or I can do both. When I was twenty I chose to simply walk away from a large organization that didn't really value its employees over the bottom line. The stress of having to fight false accusations and intimidation tactics was too much for me. I didn't think it was worth it. I ended up getting a better job that I enjoyed a lot more. In my thought process and in my decision, I was only really thinking about what was best for myself. 1997, I didn't think you'd come back to haunt me. But you have. Only this time, the stakes involved are much higher.

2010. Another large organization that portrays an image that is so opposite from its truth that it doesn't even know where the line is between what is real and what is fabrication. This time I have to not only look out for myself, but for my fellow co-workers as well. This includes those who are no longer there, who were forced out because they decided their integrity and the needs of their customers were more important. I have to stand up for injustice against those who give their best, who try to play by the rules, but then have the rules changed on them behind their backs so that the interests of the incompetent and negligent can be protected. This is not just my battle this time. Yes, I'm even fighting for "Doublemint Twin #1," who actually sincerely said "hi" to me this week. No political facade this time, but the tone in her voice said she's concerned about the challenges I'm about to face. We both know she's compromised who she really is in order to survive, because she has nowhere else financially attractive to go. Despite everything that happened between us, I know deep down she's a good person. Deep down, we're a lot more alike than different. The truth is, she was one of my karmic soulmates, if you believe in such a thing. Someone you're inexplicably drawn to, whom perhaps you've known before in another time and another place. A mirror. A guide. Someone you has something to teach you about yourself and whom you have to teach in return. The only difference between us is that I won't compromise who I am in order to get a piece of what the world says I should have.

I'm an HSP. I'm a little "Don Quixote." It's what we do. It's why we're here. To bring about change when we see dehumanizing and immoral behavior so that others can experience a better world. Life shouldn't have to be lived in fear, regret, or in compromise of collaboration. Achieving what's best for everyone means that no one is on top. No one can claim #1 over someone else. No one can hurt and defame others so that they come out smelling like roses. People need to be treated, valued and respected as human souls. Each one of us should be cherished as such, with the opportunity to contribute our talents openly and be revered when we choose to do so. We're not numbers. We're not here just to produce them at all costs. We're not to be treated as though the value of our lives doesn't exist. We can accomplish so much more when we learn to stop competing and start finding out what we can do to help those around us. Even if that "something" is just a smile, a nod or a simple "thank you."

Sometimes being a change agent means you face consequences. And they're ugly, harmful and at times, self-deprecating. This wasn't a battle I chose to fight. It chose me. What's truly important here is not what happens to only me. I'm smart. I'm resourceful. I'm fiercely determined when I have to be. I have options. Whatever happens, I'll be ok. What's truly important is the type of world that those who come after me have to live in. I don't want them to have to spend the hours crying, worrying, wondering what they did wrong, questioning their work ethic and most of all questioning their value as I did these past four years.

My "assignment" here is almost finished. But not before I make up for what I could've done 13 years ago. This time I can't only save myself. A solid foundation that others can be proud and willing to stand on, without the fear of unforeseen cracks swallowing pieces of their soul, must be laid.


  1., that is my blog. I am new to blogger, still learning how to work this thing...

    You've mentioned having a sixth sense, a knowing sort of nature, an ability to see and experience beyond the natural realm. Can this be learned, or something that just came natural.

  2. Rob,

    Some people might say and propose that "intuition" can be learned. However, the trait of "high sensitivity," which extends beyond just simple intuition, seems to be genetic or inherited. Now that's not to say that everyone that has it knows how to use it or knows exactly what it is. Awareness of the trait and learning how to develop it to its full potential, that is somewhat a little bit of both. Not all HSPs have the same range of "sixth sense" abilities. Some are stronger than others.