Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Whiny HSPs?

There's this notion that sensitives tend to be whiny, dark, and brooding. Especially if we're writers. And especially if we're the type of writers who journal, maintain personal blogs, and reflect on our observations about life in a creative fashion. The truth is that we are. Whiny, that is. But that's not because we hate life, ourselves, and everything around us. We don't want to commit suicide or go on a mass murder spree, really. It's because we care. We take life personally, with two capital P's.

Is this something as HSPs that we need to apologize for or avoid? I don't think so. I certainly don't see the non-HSPs ostracizing themselves for being a "bunch of complainers" or speaking up about their opinions and the way they feel. HSPs ostracize our own actions because we don't like to cause any problems; we don't want to be viewed negatively. We'd rather make the world more harmonious, beautiful, and free of social injustice. Please feel free to comment if you think I'm "wrong."

I think this attitude is a bunch of BS. Believe me, I kind of had a hard time getting over it too. But the way I look at it is that we're being "whiny" for several reasons. We notice things that are out of sync that others don't and it affects us more strongly. We see what needs to be changed to make the world or our own lives better somehow and then we advocate for that change until something gives. Non-hsps whine just as much, if not more so. But they don't see the need to change or even know how. They stay unhappy because "it's just the way things are done." I watched it firsthand for almost six years. They'd rather keep on existing in a morally and spiritually crushing environment because there couldn't possibly be another way of living.

I've been writing this blog for a year and a half now. I admit that it's mostly a journal or diary about snippets of my life, my opinions about certain matters, how I think the world perceives HSPs, my own inner experience as one, and some of the experiences I've had or are trying to have. Frankly, I'm amazed that anyone reads it at all. I'm not famous (nor do I wish to be) or have a list of works published by a major house. I'm grateful people do. But I don't write this blog for a particular audience. If a person likes it, wants to read it, and it helps them in some way, great. Honestly at times it feels really vulnerable and ridiculous.

I'm an experimental person. In life and otherwise. I like to try new adventures. I like variety. I like to look for ways to reinvent the wheel. If I don't like something or if something feels a little "off," I change it. But I've also become a practical person, financially. I know when it makes more sense to make a change and when it makes more sense to "wait."

The point of any writing, especially that of a journal/diary/personal blog, is to document what the writer is feeling at that point in time. As humans, we're evolving creatures. Isn't it great that there's a way to capture who and what you are at different points of your existence? You may not have those thoughts again and there might be some "genius" or "epiphany" that you'll read years later, realizing that you've always had all the answers you've needed within. Old words and reflections can bring comfort. They might even make you smile through those tears that are still flowing down your cheeks from a few moments earlier.

As writers, bloggers, authors, creators we can also touch and affect others through our words and use of language. Granted some won't like us, but that's why there's other books, blogs, magazines, and writers that exhibit a style that resonates. It's one of the times that writers make connections, even if they are indirect and remote. Through someone else's words, thoughts, "whining," and ramblings, we all see that we're human. We hear what most don't have the balls to admit or talk about. We finally see and experience truth. We might even make a difference for someone who needs something to hold onto.

So, excuse me for "whining" and "opining." I wouldn't know who I am, what I think, and what I want if I didn't. Sensitive or not, I will be damned if I'm not going to reveal what's real.


  1. Amen. :)

    Thank you for sharing this. I certainly appreciate it all and do not see or feel it as whining.

    Do you.

    Be well.

  2. You're welcome! No, I don't see myself as "whiny" per se. In fact, I'm the one who usually doesn't complain and just gets to work, as one of my former bosses described me. But I see a lot of comments on other blogs written by "self-proclaimed" HSPs who think they are being "whiny." I don't think expressing how you feel and what you think should ever be discounted or censored (well unless it's just downright distasteful/socially unjust).

  3. Agreed! I get the sense that people (especially family) find that I'm difficult at times. I'm always going around setting the lighting or fussing with the house, trying to explain why I don't always want to go out or why I need a break from people. I wish the world would have a better sense of what the life of an hsp is like.

  4. I've been thinking about this. That there is a perception gap between HSP's and regular people.

    HSP's see stuff that regular people do not. If we come across a whining so be it. It's like you know a particular train will crash down the track and you try to tell people about it but since they don't see it they see you as a frantic crazy person.

    I have to say that it's easier to perceive the bad and harder to perceive the good. Whereever HSP's look whether in their own lives or in others the bad stands out.

    Another point is that HSP's suffer on a daily basis. We are like people with chronic pain. It never goes away, we can only try to cope with it with techniques. Of course we might sound whiny.

    Good Job H. Elizabeth!

  5. Oh wow. You've hit the nail on the head again for me. I struggle with the personal labels I've been given by non HSPs. "Whiny" is one I've identified with for too long. You are so right about censorship. Our thoughts are our thoughts, our feelings are our feelings. It's hard to have the confidence to let them be what they are to the world. Maybe some of us shouldn't be blogging until we are ready to have the courage to do that. ;) I admire yours.

  6. Whine away!

    Personally, I enjoy your whining, and although I may not comment much, I do read.

    It's all a matter of perception. People (ALL people) "notice things" as they wander through life, and conversations/dialogue happens around the noticing (and share noticing) of these things. HSPs simple notice MORE things, and hence dialogue (aka "whine") more about what they noticed...

  7. Thanks for the support guys! Sometimes blogging or any type of art can help develop courage. Keep at it. =)

  8. "Honestly at times it feels really vulnerable and ridiculous." And yet you still did it! That's courage, for sure! I definitely don't think you're "whiny", neither do I see myself that way. Sometimes I feel like people (regardless of their HSP/non-HSPness) have their "whiny glasses" on and God help who/whatever they look at then because they just won't see the good in it. I also think, as HSPs, we can sometimes feel more fear about revealing our true selves to others (on and offline) but, in the words of Dawson's Creek, "the kind of fear you're talking about... sometimes it's how you know what's worthwhile."

  9. Thanks Maria! Dawson's of my favorite shows. But then we've had that "conversation," haven't we? =)