Let's Roll!

I have a little saying I repeat to myself each morning before I head out into my market. In fact, I have a little tradition that involves cranking up a bluesy, semi-Indie or rockin' pop tune. I do this in part because I'm not a morning person and it's a way to get my senses moving. One of the other reasons I do it is just to be different and somewhat annoying. I work for a pretty uptight, vanilla corporate culture and I get a rise out of seeing what kind of shockwaves I can send through their robotic-like systems. There's nothing like hearing Joss Stone blare out "don't tell me how to think or feel" or some Chicago Blues band squeal "she's been gone so long, 'bout to drive her Daddy wild" across a parking lot at 5:30 in the morning.

The way I look at it is even if you don't like your job, what your organization stands for or see yourself becoming a company girl, you might as well have fun while you're doing it. Now, it's no secret that I loathe my job. It's pretty monotonous. I mean, how much fun and meaning is there in pushing chips? Not a whole lot. Even for a non-sensitive, it's kind of like a nightmare. Just ask anyone who has worked for our organization for a few weeks. I've come up with a new "welcome greeting" I've decided would be the perfect opening line on a new hire's first day of training. Remember what Martin Lawrence's character says in "Nothing to Lose" when the white guy gets into his car? Well for those of you who haven't seen the flick, it goes something like this...."Welcome to hell, B!"

Perfect....definitely perfect.

The funny thing about finding yourself in situations like these is that it can do one of two things. You either find yourself wallowing further into a depressive spiral over how your situation absolutely stinks or it tends to light a fire underneath your rear end to change it. I've decided on the latter, it's much more productive.

So, while I'm driving down I-25 and Boulder County's roads I take the time to admire the sunrise, sing and even dance a little to my cd's, smile at all the California tags that always seem to appear (sometimes six in a row), and think about what stories the characters of "All My Salty Snacks" might possibly have to tell me today. Last Thursday's episode was quite the shocker that wouldn't end, but that's another blog entirely.

I don't focus on the numbers anymore, not that I ever did. I go out there with the intent of making the most of the moments I have left of this gig. It's been quite the adventure, for sure, but I think I've finally gotten to a place where I've let go of all the rigid expectations I had of myself going into this. For the first time, I'm truly enjoying myself because I've let go of the rules and released myself of pretending to be something that I can't. I find such enjoyment in being able to be entertaining with my customers, as if we were at a dinner party rather than standing in a retail establishment. They call me "trouble," "ornery," "babe," "Chip Chick (C.C. for short)," and a few other things. Being able to brighten someone else's face into a smile isn't something I've had the joy of doing in my role with this company because it didn't seem to be part of the culture. It wasn't until I decided to rewrite the rules that I realized how much I've missed being able to do that. It feels good. It feels right. And, no, I'm not going to stop.

In the background I've got my eyes focused on the hazy horizon I've created for myself. Eleven more weeks and the MBA program will be finished. A few more pages and the writing portfolio will be ready for editing. Squeezing in the work towards MFA/MPW submission materials hasn't been easy, but if you want something, you'll do the work to get yourself there. It won't be until the end of year until the icky anticipation game begins, but I'm looking forward to the possibilities that it might bring.

You've got to take chances in life, sometimes big, "I just got a wild hair" ones in order to get the results you've envisioned. You've got to take each moment, breathe it in, live it, capture its goodness and then let it move on to its next destination. Whether good or bad, everything will eventually pass. Just like that saying I repeat to myself each morning as I pull out a protein bar and a light mocha frappuccino.....

"Let's roll, girl!"